Course Content
The content of the Cracking the Code Video Series is built on the assumption that participants will view sessions with at least one week in between. For maximum benefit, users are encouraged to use the intervening time to process and practice skills and strategies from sessions. While learning new information in beneficial, it is only through repetition that we truly integrate information and skills.
For your convenience, these sessions can be streamed as audio only (see below videos).
Each week has specific handouts that are linked in the descriptions below. Additionally, you’ll find the Course References sheet linked at the bottom of that page.
Week 1
Overview of research on relationships, brain development, and influence.
One of the main findings: we have far more influence than we think. The key is being skillful in how we wield that influence.
DJ also discusses the nature of parent-teen relationships and why they get so tricky over the years, as well as the things he has seen both help and hurt them during his fifteen years of practice.
Section 1A 0:00-17:32
Welcome, Overview of Research Foundations of CC
Section 1B 17:32-32:23
The Developing Brain & Relevant Relationship Research, Influence, Why So Disrespectful Part 1
Section 1C 32:23-51:39
Why So Disrespectful Part 2, Connect & Redirect
Section 1D 52:39-1:00:30
What’s Behind the Behavior, Repair, Keeping Long-Term Goals in Mind
Week 2
An in-depth look at the skill sequence developed by relationship expert, Brent Aktinson, PhD, adapted by DJ for parent-teen relationships.
The method emphasizes both the need to demonstrate openness and flexibility AND to be able to stand up for one’s self and perspective effectively and without anger, counter-criticism or blame.
As Dr. Atkinson puts it, your main goal is to avoid triggering the natural defenses in the other person.
Section 2A 0:00-17:57
Empathy, Compassion, and Boundaries
Section 2B 17:57-35:53
Adapted Sequence from Pragmatic Experiential Therapy: The Recipe for Success
Section 2C 35:53-51:56
Standing Up Skills, Attitude Shifts, Reprogramming Old Habits
Week 3
Now that you’ve practiced the foundations of effective influence and communication, let’s tackle some of those tricky areas where conversations can be awkward, strained, or simply not happen at all.
Sex, Gender, & Emerging Sexuality. Pornography. Internet. Gaming. Social Media.
They’re not supposed to be easy, but these conversations are definitely supposed to happen. In this video, you’ll get useful information, resources, and tips on how to approach the talks most people simply don’t want to have.
Section 3A 0:00-12:40
Building Respect and Influence through Trust and Support
Section 3B 12:40-32:23
Sex: The TalkS, Consent, Resources, Managing Awkward Conversations
Section 3C 32:23-49:48
Sexting and Pornography: Why You Should Talk About It
Section 3D 49:48-105:50
Screens, Devices, Problematic Use, Social Media, Gaming49:48-1:05:50
Week 4
Turns out teens and parents, even at their most contentious, typically have the same goal: get the kid the heck out of the house by the appropriate time.
DJ has always believed that the challenges of adolescence don’t have to spell disaster for the relationship. This week he covers aspects of sustaining and nurturing connection through times of conflict, differences in terms of what is “okay” and not “okay” - including perhaps the most contentious battleground of all: school.
Learn the tools and mindset that will greatly increase the odds of your teen seeing you as an ally and a resource - one they’ll turn back to down the road when parents suddenly get a whole lot smarter.
Section 4A 0:00-13:44
Sustaining Connection During Conflicted Times
Section 4B 13:44-27:43
Managing Our Anxiety & Understanding Risk Areas
Section 4C 27:43-43:38
Dating, Relationships, Academics
Section 4D 43:38-53:59
Looking Ahead and Final Thoughts